While on a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods pulls up to a petrol station in the middle of the Irish countryside in his BMW.

The attendant, having no idea who Tiger is, greets him warmly in the traditional Irish way.

“Top of the mornin’ to ye, Sir,” says the attendant. Tiger nods politely and reaches for the petrol nozzle. As he does, two golf tees slip out of his pocket and fall to the ground.

The attendant looks down, puzzled, and asks, “What are those?”

“They’re tees,” Tiger replies.

“Well, what in God’s name are they for?” asks the Irishman, clearly confused.

“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving,” Tiger explains with a grin.

The Irishman’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Fookin’ Jaysus,” he says, “BMW thinks of everything!”

On the sixth day, God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said,

“Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon.”

God continued, “I shall make the land rich in resources so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth.”

“But Lord,” asked Gabriel, “don’t you think you are being too generous to these Canadians??”

“Not really,” replied God. “Just wait and see the winters I am going to give them!”